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Sending your new baby to the nursery at night is a difficult decision.
It can be quite controversial. Some moms cannot imagine being separated from the baby they just met. Others are pushed to the point of exhaustion to where it is almost dangerous for them to be caring for their baby. The same goes for the partner of the mom.
Let’s look into some of the pros and cons of sending your baby to the nursery at night while you are in the hospital.
I also ask that you give yourself grace. It is ok to need a break and it is ok to need help.
Pros of Sending Baby to the Nursery at Night
The main reason or pro to sending your baby to the nursery is that you can get more rest. You are not spending time rocking and soothing your baby between feedings. Instead, you are resting and recovering during the short breaks you get.
Depending on how your labor went you may feel very capable of caring for your baby, but you may not.
I have known mothers who have labored for days. They were so exhausted.
With my first birth, I got up to care for my baby and realized I was close to blacking out. I walked back to bed instead of picking her up out of the bassinet. I knew it was not safe for me to carry her across the room. My blood loss from birth was too much for me to handle. In that scenario, my husband carried the baby to me.
You may be completely exhausted.
When you go home caring for your baby is completely on you. While at the hospital you can get help, and help from baby experts.
Sending your baby to the nursery is an opportunity to bank up some rest before going home.
Cons of Sending Baby to the Nursery at Night
Sending your brand new baby to the nursery comes with big emotions such as guilt and judgment.
You have waited 9 months to meet this sweet baby and then within hours are pawning them off on complete strangers. This sounds brutal, but it is honestly how some new moms feel.
Another major con for most people is that you are missing out on prime bonding time.
A con to sending your baby to the nursery is to trust others to care for your most precious thing in life.
These cons are significant.
At the end of the day though, you may find yourself pushing past all these cons and needing to use the nursery as a resource for you.
Another con I have heard is the staff not caring for your baby exactly as you would. In a perfect world, they follow your instructions, for example not offering formula to a breastfed baby or giving your baby a pacifier.
I didn’t have any negative experiences, but it does happen.
When you keep your baby in your room you have complete control. You relinquish this when you send them to the nursery.
What is Best for Your Baby?
Depending on your current condition you need to do what is best for your baby.
In some cases, this will be bonding and spending time with mom. For others, this will be sending them to the nursery to be cared for by experts that are not completely exhausted. They are healthy, capable adults.
What is the healthier option for your baby?
What is Best for You?
I am by no means telling you what to do. Sending your baby to the nursery and keeping them in your room are both perfectly valid choices.
Sometimes we have to do what is best for ourselves. This is the first opportunity you will have to do this as a parent.
It feels wrong in a lot of ways. It is like when flight attendants say to put your oxygen mask on first, and then assist your child.
When you become a parent you do have to put your baby’s needs first a lot. They are completely dependent on you.
This is an opportunity to utilize those that can help you and in doing so take care our yourself.
You need to be as healthy as possible to be as good of a parent as possible. It is a constant balancing act.
First Child versus Second Child
We have all heard the jokes about first child versus second child. With your first child, you want to keep them in the room. You feel too guilty to send them to the nursery, but with your second baby you send them off as quickly as possible.
I will say it is different with the second baby. You know that you have a lifetime to bond with them. Those few hours in the nursery are not detrimental to your relationship.
You also realize that when you go home you have both a new baby and an older child to care for. Rest is more important than ever.
It is definitely more tempting to send your second child to the nursery.
Conclusion
If you send your baby to the nursery they are still going to bring them back to see you for feedings. You are still going to be exhausted and working hard.
I am here to tell you today that it is ok to send your new baby to the nursery, and it is also ok to keep them in the room with you. You need to do what is best for you, your partner, and your baby. Do not let feelings of guilt and shame affect your decision.
These are the pros and cons of sending your baby to the nursery. Ultimately the choice is up to you.
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