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Have you noticed your toddler’s desire to repeat phrases or activities?
Do you constantly get asked to do it “again”?
You may wonder why your toddler craves the same thing over and over when you have a wide variety of different things to explore.
Why read the same book ten times when you could read ten different books?
Let’s dive into how repetition benefits your toddler.
Repetition
Repetition is completely normal during your toddler’s development. It can take different forms and evolve. For some toddlers, it will be reading the same book 5 to 10 times a day. For others, it will be an action such as opening and closing something over and over.
I’ve seen it take place with mastering a skill such as putting on shoes, then taking them off, and redoing the process again and again.
Mastering a New Skill
Often this repetition involves mastering a new skill. Learning something new takes time. You also learn faster when you repeat the process close together. You can’t study Spanish one day out of the month and expect to learn anything worthwhile.
In order to really learn something, you need to pursue it frequently for a matter of time.
When your toddler repeats an action or rereads a book they are committing it to memory and mastering it.
They are also learning about cause and effect in some situations.
They may stack blocks up and knock them down. They will see what happens, then try it again. One time the blocks may land on the carpet quietly, but another time they hit the hardwood floor and make loud noises. In this situation, they performed the same action but had a different result.
It is almost like a science experiment.
They could also do this in their phrasing of questions or comments. They ask and see what answer they get. They ask again and see if they get the same answer.
Think about the last time you mastered a new skill. Now think about how many new skills your toddler is trying to master all at once. It is honestly crazy how hard they are working 24/7 to absorb the world around them.
Comfort and Validation
When your toddler asks to read the same book time and time again it is because it brings them comfort. They start to know what will be on the next page.
How do you feel in new or uncomfortable situations? Do new places intimidate you?
Compare this to why your toddler likes to reread that same darn book.
It brings them comfort and familiarity.
When it comes to skill-related repetition you seek validation through knowing you can confidently repeat a task. When your toddler dresses their baby doll, then undresses them, and redresses them, and so on it is not to drive you crazy. It is so they confidently know they can do the task on their own.
Repeating the process validates that they can do it, which leads to gaining confidence in them.
Put Yourself in Their Place
If you are having trouble with your toddler’s repetitious behaviors imagine this. Image if you all of the sudden jumped forward in time to the year 2222. We have no idea what that world will look like. My point is you know nothing about this world. You feel lost at times and have so much to learn. Once you start learning something you are going to repeat it and find yourself going back to it because you are comfortable with it.
Imagine being dropped into a foreign country without the ability to speak the language. You have to learn everything. How many times would you repeat the word “shirt” before it was locked into your memory forever?
Repetition is a huge part of learning!
Understanding Repetition
I hope now you have a better understanding of why your toddler repeats things. Try to understand it is not about you or the annoyance it may cause you.
It is about them and specifically about their learning.
There are a lot of things to be taught in this world. Your toddler has the daunting task of taking in endless information and trying to make sense of it.
Try to give them grace and encourage their learning.
If you are struggling with any part of it apply routines. Routines are always your friend.
For example, if at bedtime your toddler constantly wants “another” book. Remind them that at bedtime we only do 3 books.
Or maybe you are in a rush out the door to make it to daycare on time. Remind your toddler that on busy day’s mommy has to put on their shoes. They can practice instead when they get home.
When it comes to playtime let your toddler do what they want in regards to repetition. Who cares if they do the same puzzle ten times in a row?!?
Like honestly. It is their time to do with what they choose.
Conclusion
Repetition is a very normal thing for toddlers to go through. It is a part of learning and mastering skills. It brings them comfort and validation.
When possible allow them to repeat processes and books. When it is a problem create a routine around it that they can grow to know and understand.
Repetition has strong benefits for toddlers. Don’t try to fight it, but rather understand it and embrace it.
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