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Mealtime with a toddler can be stressful and at times overwhelming. The thing is meals are not a phase like a sleep regression. You can’t just push through until things get better.
You have to take control and make things get better every day.
Mealtimes are important. Food is a huge part of our lives and social gathering. You want to be able to take your child and them to handle the environment.
It all starts at home with simple routines and expectations.
1. Sit Down Together
This one may seem like common sense but often parents do not eat with their children. That or they are halfway standing through the meal.
Make everyone’s plate and sit down.
Sit.
At some point, I realized I was constantly getting up to get my toddler more food. I didn’t want to fill her plate and then have things go to waste. Instead, I constantly added more.
This was a terrible habit to start!
It was teaching her that I don’t get to sit and enjoy my meal and also that she can continuously ask for things and get them every time.
This was completely my fault and easily fixed.
My husband and I started filling her plate properly before sitting down.
Another key factor in sitting together is using a booster seat in the chair at the table rather than a high chair. Everyone will have their preferences here, but I think high chairs separate your little one from the family and the table.
If they eat at the table they will learn the table manners of those around them.
I don’t throw my cup off the table so there is no reason for them to do so.
Your table and dinner should be a calm time to spend together. Try to create that environment.
2. Everyone Has Their Own Plate
Not every household will be as strict on this rule. Some parents don’t mind their children eating off of them. I find it rather annoying. When we are at the table or the park you drink out of your water cup and I drink out of mine.
Some things are yours and yours alone. Do not try to steal my food. Momma likes to eat ok.
The other huge factor for this is our daughter has allergies. She must eat what is on her plate because it is safe for her. This will translate into other situations such as daycare or playdates. She needs to understand for her safety that we do not share food.
3. Set Expectations
Every moment in your young child’s life is a learning opportunity. Every breakfast, lunch, and dinner they are being reinforced on what they are allowed to do and what they can get away with.
Set expectations for them. If they intentionally throw their cup inform them that they need to stop.
If after multiple times they do not learn warn them that it will be taken away and then follow through on that threat the next time they drop the cup.
After the rebellion has calmed you can return the cup.
We never used suction cup plates or cups at home. These items are telling your child you don’t believe they can behave. You are putting a band-aid on the problem or avoiding it. Instead, teach them. Teach them that their plate and cup stay on the table.
4. Encourage Independence
A mistake I often make is intervening to help too soon. I catch myself, but usually too late.
Don’t cripple your child by helping them too much.
Our daughter was getting very good at stabbing food with her fork, and then I kept helping her. She now feels the need to ask for help on EVERY SINGLE BITE.
This was my fault. I showed her that it is easier for me to do it rather than her feel the satisfaction of doing it herself.
Learn from my mistake and promote independence.
If you want your child to excel in this area check out Montessori resources. They are wonderful in this area. We dabble in them from time to time.
5. Repetition is Everything!
The great thing about meal times is they are frequent. You have so many opportunities in a week to practice meal times!
If you have the same routine and expectations for all meal times your child will quickly pick up on them.
When your child knows what to expect they are prepared.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Conclusion
Mealtimes are important. They happen way too frequently for you to ignore. Face the challenge head-on and encourage your toddler to have proper table manners. Set age-appropriate expectations and ever so slightly push your child to grow and improve.
We want to help them be the best version of themselves possible.
And don’t forget you can make mealtime fun while still keeping your manners. By about 16 months old our daughter knew how to do cheers! Which is adorable!
Your child will get there. Just keep trying and repeating.
Check Out My Articles
Simple and Delicious Meal and Snack Ideas for Your 12-Month-Old
How to Easily Pack a Week’s Worth of Lunches for Your 15 Month Old
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