How to FOCUS on Potty Train Your Toddler Faster and More Effectively

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Are you ready for a deep dive into potty training?!?

We are going to talk about using the acronym FOCUS to stay on track.

You are going to read about what you could expect in the first few days. Every child is different though!

And finally, we are going to go over reward systems, tips, and tricks, as well as general reminders and things to watch for along the way.

First, let’s start by talking about how you need to FOCUS on potty training and FOCUS on your child.

FOCUS

Focus on Your Kid

You are basically going to be staring at your kid all day. You need to be close to them and watch their body language.  Pay attention if they start to seem distracted, agitated, or off in any way.

Some children in diapers have a specific place they go to poop. Watch for that!

During the initial time spent potty training, you do not want to be distracted by your phone, TV, or even cooking complicated meals.

Keep your days very simple, stay close to your kiddo, and watch them!

Outings Should Be Limited

You need to stay home. I recommend at least 4 days straight.

When you take your potty-training toddler out in public you are going to put them in the car or in other situations where a toilet is not readily available. You are also going to encounter distractions.

Just stay home. Stick with the toilet they are getting familiar with and the same routine.

If you leave the house you will be tempted to put them back in a diaper.

Find a three-day weekend and use a day of vacation time, use holiday breaks, or consider potty training your toddler at the end of your maternity leave if you have a second child. Find a time you can stay home and do not make any plans.

When you do start going on outings you need to use the potty at home before leaving. Once you arrive at your destination show them the potty. For example, if you need to go to Grandma’s for Christmas go take a look at the bathroom and get familiar with it once you arrive.

Commit to It

When you decide to potty train you need to go into it with a plan and commit. When the first 5 accidents happen you can’t give up. It just confuses your child.

Do not waive and take steps back. You need to fully commit for at least 4 days. If you truly think your child isn’t ready then stop completely and try again months later.

Do not halfway potty train. Sometimes they wear diapers and sometimes they wear undies. It causes confusion. You don’t trust your kid and they know it.

When you potty train go all in.

Undies Only (No Pull-Ups)

Do not use pull-ups!

They cause confusion. Can I pee in this? Or maybe just poop?

They also show your toddler that you do not trust them or believe in them.

You want to empower your toddler to take control of their bladder. You need to believe they can do it!

When your toddler has accidents they need to feel wet. If the pull-up keeps them feeling dry they are not fully understanding how things work.

Undies should be on at all times when they are awake!

If you choose to use a diaper at night time and nap time I understand.

My recommendation is to start with both. Otherwise, you will have a lot of sheets to change and sleep could be disrupted by accidents.

I think sleep is important. Imagine being up all night changing sheets and redressing your toddler. Then the next day you want to continue potty training. You will be exhausted and they will be exhausted.

If you are clear on only wearing diapers during sleep times they will understand the difference.

Over time you can monitor if they are waking up with dry diapers.

As they start to wake up dry first start wearing undies for nap time and then move on to 100% of the time including during the night.

Stay Positive

Do not scold your toddler when they have accidents. For years now you have taught and expected them to use the diaper. Now all of the sudden you expect them to use the toilet. This is a huge change!

This is not a “good boy” or “bad girl” situation.

When they have an accident stay calm. Explain what happened and what they should do next time.

Encourage them that next time they can do it! We just have to run to the toilet a little faster!

Do not look at your partner and say, “this is never going to work!“

It will work, but it will also take time. At some point, it will click for your kiddo. They will not be in diapers forever.

What to Expect

Every kid will respond to potty training differently. However, here is an example of what you could expect.

Day 1: Excited – Fun – Ready

Day 2: Frustrated – Not Fun Anymore

Day 3: Exhausted – Burned Out

Day 4: Starting to See Real Progress

In the beginning, you are going to be so excited. If you are anything like us you will basically be staring at your toddler on edge all day. You are afraid to leave them even for a second to make mac’n’cheese and chicken nuggets.

You are also very likely to experience a lot of accidents. Your toddler likely does not know how to control their bladder.

After a day or so you start getting tired. It isn’t necessarily from the accidents and cleanup. It is from being on edge all day.

The excitement starts to wane.

By day 3 if your toddler is still having a lot of accidents you are getting tired. There is also the alternative. They may start to figure out their bladder control and simply hold it all day. Then you can’t actually tell if they are making progress. Frustration can hit you in many different ways.

At some point, you will see it start to click. They will successfully go on the potty and be so proud! They will get to the point of more successes than accidents.

Reward System

It is completely up to you if you want to establish a reward system. You could try initially without one and then use it if you feel it will help.

A common reward is Skittles or M&Ms. I have a few other ideas that do not involve food or sugary treats.

My kid totally gets candy, but I prefer it to not be a reward system.

You do you though!

Some other great rewards are:

Stickers (on shirt)

Painting Nails

Instant Tattoo

Dance Party

Make the reward something your child loves and make it as instant as possible. One thing some people choose to do is a sticker chart. Once they get 10 stickers they get a toy or a large prize. I do not think this is wise. A two or three-year-old will likely not fully understand the concept of earning a prize over time with multiple successes.

Give them instant gratification in this situation.

Tips, Tricks, & Things to Note

First off I recommend making sure your toddler is ready. Ideally, they are showing signs of interest and readiness. Maybe they go into the bathroom with you to check out the process or you are noticing them grabbing at their diaper when they pee or even fart.

Pick a long weekend at home.

Get at least 10 undies. If your child goes to daycare they are going to need to pack extras to have there. You will also want to keep a few in your diaper bag and maybe even in your car. Depending on your lifestyle and situation 15 -20 could be a better number for you.

Expect to do laundry.

Expect accidents.

Watch for the sneaky poop location if your toddler has one.

Your toddler may learn how to hold it. Watch out for UTIs.

After an accident have you toddler sit on the potty. After a while they will learn to stop mid-pee when they feel wet. Then you get them all changed and an accident happens 5 minutes later. This is because they didn’t finish. After an accident put them on the potty while you get new clothing.

Avoid fear. Try not to make it a scary thing. If they don’t like the toilet or it flushing try a potty on the floor.

A timer may work, or it may drive your child crazy. Sometimes you need to change the method.

Keep the potty close at all times. Don’t go play outside or in the basement if there isn’t a potty near. (Or if you aren’t ok with your child going out in nature)

Keep moving forward and try not to take steps backward.

Here is a link to check out the potty style we used. Step one was to use it at a potty on the floor, step two was to take the seat and place it on the real toilet ( the base then because a stool for hand washing), and step three was to then take only the seat out in public. After some time we got the the point of using public toilets without taking anything.

There are many different options available including this collapsible potty seat.

Conclusion

Potty training can be difficult at times. You could face a wide variety of bumps along the way. Remember to keep focused.

These 5 components will be huge in helping you along the way. Good luck to you and don’t forget to believe in your child.

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