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Everyone is entitled to their opinion on birth. For any information out there you can find a conflicting argument. I am not sharing my birth story for critiques and criticism. I want to provide it as an example of what a birth experience can look like.
First-time moms are curious.
This is a first-time mom having her first baby. This is also before Covid-19, so I didn’t have to worry about any restrictions due to the pandemic.
Preparing for Birth
My attempt at a natural birth started with my preparations during the end of my pregnancy. I wasn’t perfect. I didn’t work out as much as I should have. I didn’t do 300 squats a day.
But you know what, I did try. I tried to work out and do the squats. I read books and did research.
One of my favorite books was by Ina May. It was Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. I borrowed it from the local library and read the entire thing.
It told stories of women who gave birth naturally at home. At home was not my goal. I figured if they gave birth at home they did so without medication. This makes them great examples of how it can be done. I would choose to do it in a hospital setting though.
I did research and made lists on lists on lists.
These included things my husband could do to help me during labor. Words of affirmation he could say to encourage me. Reminders on things to do during labor like keeping my face and body relaxed and trying new positions.
I had a list for everything!
Once it was time, these lists came with us to the hospital.
Due Date
Nearing the end of my pregnancy I didn’t have a single contraction. Nothing was happening. My due date was soon approaching.
Now I wasn’t trying to rush my baby out, or at least that wasn’t my actual goal. I did, however, want to try to avoid a scheduled induction.
Inductions can greatly vary in what they look like, but the basic idea is making your body go into labor. Some would say you are gently encouraging it, others would say you are medically forcing your body into labor.
I tried to get my body going. I walked at the gym and bounced on an exercise ball. I started doing more squats and lunges.
My due date came and went.
I took castor oil. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terrible. It did give me crampy stomach pain. I would like to note that I did this after my due date!
Still, nothing was happening.
My doctor offered to sweep my membranes. I weighed my options and decided to proceed. Some would say boom!
Already not a natural birth!
People have varying levels of what constitutes a natural birth. To some that means absolutely no medical intervention, others classify it as no epidural, some people think natural means vaginally.
I think if you deliver vaginally with an epidural that no longer counts as natural birth. Natural to me means no pain medication or at least no epidural.
I’m not sure where I fall on the cervical sweep. In the end, what does it matter?!?
Anywho, in total I got my cervix swept three times before giving birth.
My doctor started talking about induction. This was what I dreaded.
She was awesome and trying to let me go as long as possible. She knew avoiding induction was a big goal for me. But she also had to bring it up and follow hospital protocol.
Now let’s get to the action!
Early Labor
Monday night I went to bed, but just couldn’t get comfortable. I told my husband I was going to try sleeping on the couch. Once I was pretty large it felt better to wedge myself on the couch rather than try to get comfortable in the bed.
After a little bit, I realized I was having contractions!
I paced most of the night. My contractions were weirdly close together, but I felt perfectly fine. They were coming about every three to five minutes and lasting varying lengths.
Even though the contractions were close together I wasn’t worried. I knew this was early labor. I intentionally let my husband sleep. I wanted him to be well-rested because I knew I would need his support later. He didn’t have a clue I was up all night!
Tuesday morning while he was getting dressed for work I went in and told him what was going on. I had an appointment with my OB for Tuesday morning as well. We decided he would go to work (10 minutes from our house) and I would go to my appointment and see what was going on.
Well, the worst thing happened! Between getting dressed and driving to my appointment my contractions completely stalled.
At this point, I was 9 days overdue. My doctor was generous to let me go this far. A lot of hospitals don’t want you going beyond a week past your due date.
At the appointment, I was 4 cm dilated.
The decision was that I would go in for an induction Wednesday morning if I didn’t progress today.
My husband only worked a half-day Tuesday. He was just too distracted. We spent the day walking and walking and walking and jumping around. I was trying to get contractions going again, but they just wouldn’t!
This was so frustrating!
I truly think contractions and your body can be controlled by your mind. I believe I got distracted with my appointment and messed up my rhythm.
Tuesday night we did our final packing. I could hardly sleep that night. This puts me at two nights in a row of basically no sleep.
Birth Day
Early Wednesday morning we headed to the hospital.
(5 minutes from our house)
(great location!)
Roughly 5:30 am.
We got checked in and they put me on a low level of Pitocin. We’ll say at about 6:30 am.
My doctor offered to break my water which I agreed to.
Again not natural!
My philosophy was to allow some intervention if it could potentially prevent larger intervention. My doctor said my bag of waters was extremely thick. It took her forever to break. Maybe this was why I made it so far past my due date.
This was around 8:00 am
I got on the cordless monitors and started walking around. Contractions did start. They were perfectly fine. I was handling them well.
So at this point, clearly my completely natural birth was out the window. I’ve had my membranes swept, Pitocin administered, and my water broken for me.
But I was ok with all of this. I truly was!
During my early contractions, which I considered easy, I was trying to find my groove. I was learning what worked for me. Was it counting, rocking, breathing, and focusing on a specific thing? Whatever works right?
I would recommend doing this!
Pro-Tip: Test out different strategies. It will get more difficult and you need to know what works for you. Find your best ways to best cope with pain in the early stages.
Around noon things were still good. I was walking and rocking and breathing through contractions. The most annoying part was that if I moved around too much I would start leaking water. I mean I had gigantic hospital pads on at this point, but it didn’t feel great to constantly experience the feeling you are peeing yourself.
We were thinking we would have a baby by dinner time.
Do not do this! Do not put a time stamp on things!
Around 3 pm they started making slight changes in the room. They got out the table of instruments. They kept it covered, but I knew it was there.
I was progressing to around 8/9 cm. Things were getting more intense, but I was still under control. I felt like myself. They were hard, but I could handle them one at a time.
Then around maybe 5 or 6 pm things started to change. I wasn’t getting to a 10, but the labor shifted. My hips were on fire!
I did not expect this! The inside of my hips felt like they were being ripped apart. I did not have a plan for how to cope with this.
My techniques I had been using started to fail me. This wasn’t a pain I could breathe through. It was just different.
My nurse was continuously getting me hot packs and I was constantly grabbing more to apply to my hips. They helped, but I was struggling.
At some point, the offer was made to turn up the Pitocin to get things going and hopefully get the baby out. I agreed.
In all honesty I am a little foggy on if the Pitocin was before or after the hips pain. Things got hectic!
This is my only regret during the birth. I wish I would have said the opposite. I wish I would have said, let’s try turning the Pitocin off completely.
I was having contractions. They were getting very close together. My baby was not in distress. What was the hurry?
Why not just slow things down? Maybe then I could have handled the contractions.
I think I was just getting tired and ready to be done.
I sooooo regret turning up the Pitocin!
I honestly, think it was the wrong decision 100 %. In hindsight, it seems so obvious, but in the moment there was just too much happening. I wasn’t able to think clearly.
Throughout this difficult part of labor my husband was amazing. He was constantly on my back pushing and massaging where needed. I move around into different positions and tried all sorts of things.
All of the sudden I lost focus. I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t regain focus.
They were constant. And I mean constant.
I could barely have a conversation with my husband.
I wasn’t making progress.
Epidural
I got the epidural.
Had to get it twice.
This was around 7 pm.
I couldn’t care less about the needle.
The needle or any pain associated with an epidural didn’t concern me. I have no fear of those things.
Everyone is entitled to their opinions about epidurals. I, however, did not want one.
I was so upset to get an epidural.
I wanted to feel everything. I wanted to control my birth.
I wanted to control my body.
I will say though, the relief was good. It was so nice not to be in pain anymore.
Pushing
I rested a bit and baby came down and I made it to a ten.
I was still upset about getting the epidural. I was very emotional.
Then it was time to push. I started pushing around 9 pm.
You may or may not know this, but you push when you are having a contraction.
Once I got the epidural I could no longer feel contractions.
Ok, this is normal. They can tell you when you are having a contraction based on the monitors right? Of course! So many people get epidurals. This isn’t a problem.
Whelp here is the thing, my contractions completely stalled. I’m talking a contraction every ten minutes.
I pushed for 2 hours!
One might think that I would be exhausted, but nope. Because I barely ever pushed! It was the most frustrating experience. Everyone was just standing around between contractions waiting for them to happen.
I do not know if the epidural itself was responsible for the spacing of my contraction or if it was me mentally shutting down.
I was so upset about getting the epidural that I think it may have contributed.
I went from contractions one after the next with no break, to just waiting around on them to happen.
So I was pushing. The baby would come down and then during the break, the baby would move back up a bit.
Near the end, the baby’s heart rate started to decline lower and lower with each contraction.
I don’t like to be dramatic, but my doctor was getting concerned.
Essentially my doctor yanked her out. I honestly think my doctor did what was best. My doctor was gentle and coddled me up until it got scary then she felt that the baby needed out.
Let’s just say my recovery was not great.
My tearing was 3rd degree with 4th degree being the worst.
I don’t blame my doctor. I blame my decision to get the epidural.
It’s fine. You heal.
Anything is worth it for the safe delivery of your baby.
We had our surprise baby, a little girl. She came ten days past her due date at 11:10 pm. She weighed in at 8 pounds 9 ounces. Her name starts with an H and I’ll leave it at that. She was beautiful and healthy.
Will I Try Natural Again?
The short answer. YES!
I will without a doubt try to give birth naturally again.
I feel like I was so close. Honestly, I think if we would have turned down the Pitocin it could have been a different experience. I am so frustrated by that decision.
I don’t blame any one person for that decision. We just went in that direction and then later when I had time to think about it came to the realization that there was no need.
I want to control my body. I want to push with the contractions. I truly want to give birth to my baby under my own power and control.
My Opinion on Epidurals
I want to be clear. I am not hating on anyone who chooses to get an epidural. I did not want one for myself and for my body. Everyone else has the right to make decisions for their own body.
Getting the epidural was a relief. I can’t deny that.
The epidural itself was not a bad experience, other than that I had to get it twice. But even that didn’t bother me.
I didn’t end up with any headache or negative side effects post-birth that I know of.
I am not a medical professional. I am speaking from my own experience.
I do believe that the combination of the epidural and my mental state completely stalled out my contractions.
Call me crazy if you want. But I went from contractions right on top of each other to contractions every ten minutes. That’s not random.
What Would I Change?
There are a few things I would do differently. Like I have said, I wish we turned the Pitocin off or at least down. Like honestly, what was the rush? My baby was not in distress. If I continued to not progress we could have easily turned it back up.
I wish I would have waited a little longer before starting to push. I didn’t say I felt like I needed to push. I would have liked to feel that urge. Maybe waiting would have allowed my baby to descend further with less effort and strain on both of us.
I would not pay as much attention to the numbers on the clock or the number of centimeters dilated.
Those numbers got in my head. Don’t let them be a distraction or cause you to get discouraged.
My Advice
If you want to have a natural-labor spend time preparing. Be educated on how to cope with situations.
Spend time doing and learning about things that can help you.
For example, I didn’t waste my time researching the side effects of getting an epidural. That didn’t benefit me. Instead, I spent time learning positions to put my body in and breathing techniques. I learned about mantras and focus points throughout labor.
Make sure you are talking to your partner. My husband was so supportive. He knew my goals and desires for the birth. He was a full partner in the birth, not a spectator.
Another huge thing I had written on my list was a phrase, “Can we wait an hour.” You can use this phrase in many situations. Take time to think through options.
If any situation is a true emergency the doctor won’t be talking to you and giving you options. If it is an emergency the answer will be no and they will do what is necessary.
If it is not an emergency take that time to consider the options. Slow down. And maybe give your body time to get there without assistance.
Conclusion
Every momma that gives birth in any way is a champ! Every single way takes a toll on your body. Every way is a huge sacrifice for your baby.
Mommas give up an entire year of their lives between pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.
You are a beast.
This is simply my story. Yours will not be the same. Hopefully, though, it gave you things to think about for your birth experience.
Good luck to you! You will do great!
Check Out My Articles
Your Baby’s First Doctor Visit: What to Expect and How to Prepare
Packing for the Big Day: A Minimal List for a Hospital Birth
The Haakaa: a Simple, Affordable, and Effective tool for Breastfeeding Moms
