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I truly believe it is important to incorporate your partner in the bedtime routine. This may look different for every family, but see where you can make it happen. I am going to give you 5 reasons it is important to include your partner at bedtime.
#1 Why Should Mom Always Do It?
Why in the world should mom always do bedtime!?! You both made this baby and you should both care for it.
Different situations and circumstances will dictate if this is possible. For example, if you breastfeed your baby to sleep or if your partner works in the evening. Those are valid reasons for mom to do bedtime.
My point here is that dad is the parent too. Unless there is a reason, they should take their fair share of bedtimes.
I will be honest my daughter got to the point was she was breastfed to sleep. I did all bedtimes. However, when it was time for weaning my husband got very involved. He did a week or two of putting her to bed exclusively. Once we were past the weaning phase we evolved into alternating every night.
I’m telling it exactly how I feel. Moms should not have to do everything. It leads to burnout and resentment.
#2 What if Mom Isn’t Available
An important reason for your partner to do bedtime is what if mom is unavailable.
Maybe you want to go on a weekend trip with your girlfriends or find yourself sick in the hospital.
It will be better for your baby or toddler to be able to be put to bed by their other parent.
Mom being unavailable leads me to my other points.
If mom is in the hospital having another baby your toddler will need to be put to bed by someone else. Check out How to Get Your Toddler Ready to Welcome a New Baby into the Family.
#3 Helps with Other Caregivers
If you have to or would like to leave your child with a caregiver it will be easier if they are put to bed by both parents.
Each parent might have a slightly different way they do it. This creates variety and helps your child become adaptable.
There is always a first-time for a babysitter. Imagine how much easier it will be if your baby or toddler is used to at least two different people putting them to bed.
It creates less stress on the caregiver and your child.
#4 Creates Flexibility
It is good for children to be flexible. Routines are a good thing. I firmly believe in them. But a bit of variety is good too!
Our daughter goes to bed at 8 pm. That is the standard and the routine.
When my husband puts her to bed he rubs her back and almost makes her fall asleep. He tends to have the door almost closed so it is dark and leaves without talking.
When I put her to bed I don’t rub her back. I sway a little. I like the door half open so I can see what I am doing. Maybe in the past, I almost missed the crib or have terrible night vision. IDK I just don’t like being blind in her bedroom. I put her down where she is still very much awake and lately have started saying “I love you, night, night.”
We each do our things but she still fully understands it is bedtime.
Children need some flexibility.
Have you ever seen a toddler throw a tantrum because someone cut their sandwich the wrong way? Or maybe you hear them say, “mommy does it this way!”
When they are used to the perfect routine they grow to expect that.
#5 Helps Prepare for Birth of Baby #2
If you are expecting a second child and intend to give birth in a hospital you will be away from your older child for at least two nights if you are from the US.
Some birth centers and other places may do things differently of course. I feel a general standard though is two nights.
During this time someone will be caring for your child. Dad needs to have been involved with bedtime before we get to this point. Dad helping with bedtime helps prepare your child for someone else putting them to bed.
You also never know what you will face with birth. I know someone recently who went through quite the ordeal with the birth. They were in the hospital for about 2 weeks recovering from complications.
Things can happen. Set your child or children up to be ok without you. They are going to miss you terribly while you are away, but try to help them be as ok as possible.
You want your child to experience as little stress as possible.
Conclusion
Daddy needs to get involved in bedtime if he hasn’t so far. It is important for your family from every angle. It is good for mom to have a break. It is good for baby because it creates flexibility. It is good for dad because it is special bonding time that he deserves to have.
If you haven’t already get dad involved at bedtime.
Check Out My Articles
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How to Best Navigate the Weaning Process with Your Baby
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Why Do Dad’s get so Much Credit for Helping Out with Their Children?