This post may contain affiliate links. That means if you click on the link and purchase an item, I will receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Please read my disclosure for more information.
Recently I came across an article. In it, a new dad said something along the lines of not wanting to use iPads at restaurants. In the comments, everyone was saying “Oh just wait” and “Talk to me in 2 years once they are a toddler.” “If you want a peaceful dinner, you will give them the iPad.”
I understand what those commenters are saying.
You will not stay true to every parenting idea you had before becoming a parent or when you only have a baby.
You will grow, adjust, and simply give in to your children sometimes.
You will find yourself in difficult situations and simply being exhausted.
However, I just wanted so badly to have this new dad read a comment from me. I would have said, ”Yes, it is completely possible to not give your child iPads at restaurants and it is quite simple!”
How do we not give our children iPads at restaurants?
We don’t own one.
My children are currently 2 and 4.5. We do not have any iPads in our house.
My husband and I have phones and laptops.
And just to be clear, our children do not get our phones at restaurants. We are typically very good about not having our phones out at restaurants at all.
Now, I am not here to say we are perfect, we have our phones out more often than we should at home, but for whatever reason we have established a bit of manners when it comes to eating out.
So how have we managed without iPads? How do we navigate a peaceful meal?
Let me give you some tips, steps, and advice throughout your baby/child’s different phases.
Infant/Baby
When your little one is tiny the iPad isn’t an issue yet. They may spend the meal in their car seat. Around six months or so depending on your child they may be ready and able to eat a bit of food and sit in a highchair.
What I recommend is not putting them in the highchair immediately, unless they are starving and need to eat immediately.
What I would do is hold them and try to play with them a bit. Do this while the table is empty of food and there are fewer things to get spilled.
When you think the food will be arriving shortly, put them in the highchair and get them settled. Feed them something that requires assistance like spoon feeding baby food.
Once your food arrives, switch over to feeding them something like Cheerios that they can do or attempt to do themselves.
A few items that can come in handy during this phase include:
12 Months – 2 Years old
During this phase, your child can get pretty restless. Try the steps above, like playing a bit before the food comes.
Maybe they are old enough to try to color the kid’s menu. Maybe you need to start packing a few more toys.
Make sure to always have snacks even if you are getting a kid’s meal. The snacks will hold them over.
During this phase we prefer our children to sit in the highchair, but with our second they wanted to be grown up and sit with us. We would try to get a booth whenever possible; we find that works better for our child.
Find what works for you but do realize the first time you let them get out of the highchair and eat you have started something.
Depending on your child it may be very difficult to go back to the highchair next time.
This is the make-it-or-break-it phase. This would likely be when you introduce the iPad.
I think the reason for this is your young toddler is starting to have opinions and find their voice, but you likely still have trouble understanding what they want.
My suggestion here is to keep working on communication with your little one and see the improvements.
If you can make it through this phase without introducing an iPad, you are golden because your child only gets older and the ability to understand expectations and situations will only grow.
3 Years Old
At 3 years old we can arrive at the restaurant, sit in our seat, and color on the kid’s menu. We are looking around and just checking the place out.
We are talking about what food they would like to order. We are going to start passing out a snack soon. When I say snack, this is a bag of Cheerios, or crackers. This doesn’t have to be anything major.
Kids get hungry. As an adult I get hangry! So, I don’t expect my children to have the discipline and self-control to behave perfectly in a restaurant when they are hungry.
So, I solved that problem with a snack. Then they can behave pretty darn well.
Think about it. Have you ever been to a restaurant and been miserable waiting?
One final tip for this age bracket. If you are potty training or freshly potty trained, consider taking them to the bathroom right after ordering. This way you kill some time while waiting for the food to arrive.
You also aren’t missing out on eating your food hot. Nothing is more frustrating than waiting and waiting on food and the moment it arrives your toddler needs to potty.
If you need help in the area of potty training check out, How to FOCUS on Potty Train Your Toddler Faster and More Effectively.
4 Years +
4 Years and Beyond should only get easier. You can play lots of games on the kid’s menu or with items at the table. I used to play different games with the kids I nannied for. I would give one the ketchup and one the mustard and tell them to find all the letters in the alphabet.
You could play I Spy around the room. You could teach your children how to play tic tac toe together.
If you have laid a strong foundation on how to act in a restaurant by now your children have it down.
Final Tips
The first tip for avoiding the iPad at dinner is to not buy one.
The second tip, if you already own an iPad, is to not bring the iPad. Maybe you use it for road trips or flying. Ok, leave it at home until those occurrences come back around.
Do not give your children your phone. The first time you do this you set a precedence.
Do not do it!
If your child is having a really rough time, take them outside to walk around while the other parent is at the table. Use toys and snacks.
Keep toys with you in the diaper bag.
Orderly quickly if you need to. If you are finding the first half of the meal usually goes great, but by the end your table is starting to get crazy.
Maybe you need to speed up the process a bit.
Consider looking at the menu in advance. Then when your server first comes to the table to get your drink order, consider going ahead and putting in your food order if possible.
Another take on this is to put the kids’ food order in first, so it comes out earlier.
An interesting trick I have heard is to intentionally go to restaurants that play loud music. Your children can whine, and fuss and other patrons can’t hear it.
I would not say I agree with this tip in general. I think it shouldn’t be necessary, but maybe you have a 10-month-old who is finding their baby voice and can get quite loud. Maybe this would be an option for you.
Once the food comes out and you have all necessary condiments and drink refills consider getting the bill early. This way if everyone is done eating you don’t have to wait around on the bill. The end of the meal is where the little can start to fall apart.
Consider your expectations. You can’t go into a dinner with children expecting the meal to be perfect.
If you want to perfectly enjoy your meal, make it a date night and get a babysitter.
Those parents in the beginning that were saying they just want a nice meal, need to remember they also wanted to have a family. Now it is time to teach and raise that family. You don’t get to ignore their existence and pretend they aren’t there.
Conclusion
If you put the time into teaching your children how to behave at restaurants it will pay off.
You will have children with beautiful manners that know how to behave in public. They will know how to enjoy a nice meal with a group of people without scrolling the entire time.
Have expectations for your children beyond throwing a fit or causing a scene.
Believe in them. Believe in their ability to behave.
You handing them an iPad says you expect the worst out of them. It says you can’t be bothered to teach or spend time with them.
We have to teach our children these skills, no one else is going to do it!
Put in the work and teach your children.
Spend time with them and talk to them.
And to that dad I would say, no, you do not need an iPad to get through a meal with your child.
You can do it!
It is so simple really.
Check Out My Articles
Everything You Need to Know About Introducing Solid Food to Your Baby
How to Save Money by Making Your Own Baby Food
Drastically Improve Your Toddler’s Table Manners with these 5 Tips