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Every breastfeeding journey will look a little different as will every weaning process. Before we get into exactly how I weaned my baby from exclusively breastfeeding let me give you a bit of background.
Before I had my daughter I knew I wanted to breastfeed. I didn’t set a specific goal for how long we would continue to do so, but about a year is a common goal to shoot for. In the back of my mind, I figured that would be what we aimed for. However, I did not want to put that much pressure on myself starting out.
I gave birth to my daughter and we started off our breastfeeding journey. We had no major issues. No ties, thrush, mastitis, or anything remotely difficult. This was a huge blessing!
My daughter was able to come to work with me throughout this whole time frame. Not every momma is afforded this luxury. Because of this unique situation, my daughter was nearly exclusively breastfed. She had only a handful of bottles her entire life.
Where We Started
Let’s just start at the six-month mark.
By now she was sleeping through the night. So nighttime feedings were completely eliminated. I would suggest starting with them. Get that out of the way early on.
After she turned six months old we slowly introduced solids. And I mean slowly!
I did not want to go crazy with solids and lose my milk supply. My daughter also wasn’t great at eating baby food. There was lots of gagging.
Then during her introduction to solids, we started to realize she was having reactions to food. This slowed us down even more. Long story short, she is allergic to dairy and eggs.
With the introduction of food starts the slow weaning of milk.
Early Weaning
Let’s jump to when she was about 8 months old. Around this time we did not do baby food on a schedule. We found random times to give it to her. She was still primarily on breastmilk. Food was more or less for playing with and getting acquainted with.
Our baby food game was a little late and a little slow.
9 Months Old
By nine months we started getting on a schedule. We built up to the point of having solids for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This took time.
Here is an example of her day.
7:30 nurse
8:30/9 breakfast food
10:30 nurse
nap
12 food
1 nurse
nap
3:30 nurse
5 nurse
6 dinner
7:30 nurse
3 solid food times
6 nursing sessions total
With this schedule, it did at times feel like constant work and feedings. It was difficult to space out the nursing and solid food sessions, especially around lunch and dinner times. This is simply how I made it work.
It is important to keep in mind that your little one is likely not getting all of the solid food down. A lot of it can end up on their face and in their bib. This is why milk is still very important.
10 Months Old
At ten months the solid foods started to pick up. She started doing better at truly eating the food. The next step was to drop the 1 pm nursing session. Periodically we would add an afternoon snack of solids food. The afternoon snack depended on our day, her mood, and her afternoon nap.
7:30 nurse
8:30/9 breakfast food
10:30 nurse
12 food
2:30 food
3:30 nurse
5:00 nurse
6:00 dinner
7:30 nurse
5 nursing sessions total
3-4 solid food meals/snacks
11/12 Months Old
Our next step was to drop the 5:00 pm nursing sessions. This one often collided with dinner time anyway. It was the easy next step to take.
We are in a really good spot here. We are down to four feedings: first thing in the morning, nap one, nap two, and right before bed. This wasn’t overly difficult to achieve. All of these steps so far have felt very manageable.
The next steps are what I have feared most. How are we going to drop the nursing before naps? I know this was a terrible habit to start, but this is where we have ended up.
I never wanted to nurse her to sleep. I said I wouldn’t end up here. But I was desperate. Months and months ago I started before sleep.
I wouldn’t say I nurse her to sleep actually. I just do it then put her down awake. But she got that comfort and a full tummy.
I am so worried about this next transition.
The Plan
My plan is to first make the nursing sessions before naps shorter and shorter. Then once I feel ready start putting her down for naps without nursing. Those two feedings will get combined into one feeding around 1 pm probably.
If I find this to be too difficult I will keep the four feedings but move the two from before naps to after the naps. This would mean not cutting out a feeding, but rather moving two of them to after naps. This gets her used to going to sleep without needing to be nursed.
Another option is to keep the nursing times all where they are and just choose one to drop. Either drop the 10:30 am morning nap nursing or the afternoon 3:30 pm. The problem here is will she be confused when for one nap she gets to nurse and the other nap she will not get to nurse.
So at this point, I weighed my options.
Drop from 4 to 3 feedings and move it to the middle of the day.
Don’t drop a feeding, but rather train her to go down for naps without nursing.
Or pick a daytime feeding and eliminate it while keeping the rest of the schedule the same.
I decided to take another route. We started using Grandma. Grandma got her one afternoon a week, then we bumped it up to two afternoons a week.
She worked on being put down for those naps without nursing. (She didn’t get a bottle either!)
This was also a bit of an indicator for my supply to slow down. I did not pump when she was at grandma’s house.
Around this time we did some traveling and long car rides. During a couple of these, she slept and we drove through times where she would typically nurse. So once again we were having 3 nursing sessions a day.
So more and more we are randomly having only three feedings. We are also having pretty short feedings in general. My husband had commented on how quickly I was putting her to bed at night.
On the days where we are doing three feedings, I do not feel engorgement or pain or discomfort which is a good sign.
Basically, the new plan was to spend time away from momma and find distractions like the car rides. Work with what you’ve got to make it work.
First Birthday
Right after her first birthday sickness hit us both. I think it decreased my supply a bit. She was also so stuffy it was difficult for her to nurse. She had to constantly unlatch to breathe. This was not fun for mom because she kept accidentally biting. She would cry when I jumped. I didn’t even get after her.
Then we went away for a weekend so she missed a feeding while we were driving again. Then we decided to skip the other daytime feeding. We just decided on a whim to stop all daytime feedings. It felt like a good day and a good time to do so.
So she went her first full day without a feeding from her morning feeding to her nighttime feeding. Now I don’t want to go back. I want to drop both of her naptime feedings.
Some would say this is a terrible idea. You should only drop one feeding at a time. I usually would agree but I feel like I can handle dropping them both. I also think it will be less confusing for her. We are a week away from her being 13 months old.
Many of the days she was only getting three feedings, but some days she was still getting four. This was a bit of a gray area for a while. Basically if I put her down for a nap she nursed. If she was away from me she didn’t. On days she was going to be with me I felt like it would be difficult to nurse for one nap and not the other, so we dropped them both.
We had her spend extra time at grandmas this week to help with the transition.
I decided to commit. I wouldn’t go back. I believe when you do certain things with your child, even if they are hard you should stick with them. I am not going to make her go through this hard transition and then have to do it over and over because I cave. I won’t do that to her.
Dropped the Morning
We dropped the morning feeding when she was about 13.5 months. At this point, she is down to only nursing at night.
A huge part of dropping the morning feeding was slightly changing our routine. My husband started getting up with our daughter in the morning. He got her up and moving. He changed her diaper, dressed her, and started playing with toys. For some, I would suggest that your partner go ahead and offer breakfast, but for us, this didn’t work. She was never ready to eat first thing in the morning.
As for me, I would stay in our bedroom while all of this was happening. I would get myself going for the day and be fully dressed. Each morning I wore a sweatshirt or something with a firm high neck. I changed my routine by not wearing my robe, which my daughter was used to seeing me in. I let daddy and her play for about 30 to 45 minutes depending on what time she woke up in relation to what time my husband needed to head out to work.
During this first week of morning weaning, I did not sit on the couch with my daughter. This was her normal nursing spot. I avoided it completely. I always sat on the floor with her playing.
By the time I came out of the bedroom she was so far removed from her wake-up routine she forgot about nursing and continued with playtime.
We felt like this transition went very well.
Completely Weaned
A couple of days before she turned 14 months old we decided to quit. We were officially done.
The days leading up to it were emotional for me. I had been doing it for so long. I was so ready to be done, but yet so sad to quit.
Dad took charge of bedtime for two weeks completely. We did our normal bedtime routine for the most part. If we felt like it could be a rough night we would throw in extra bath nights.
My husband was so calm with our daughter. She wanted mommy a bit, but once he got her in her room and on his shoulder she settled so well. The first few nights I hid in the bedroom. Then I started staying out in the living room and telling her goodnight.
We didn’t want to always need the other parent to hide. We want our child to be able to be put to bed by either parent and be ok with that.
I think a big key to dropping the evening nursing session is to have a solid bedtime routine. Your baby needs to feel good about bedtime.
Tips & Tricks
Take it Slow!
Take this process slow for both your baby and your body. It is a huge adjustment for both of you. Be patient and loving during this time. Your little one may need extra cuddles, just remember to do it in a place that is not a typical nursing location.
Change the Routine!
In the beginning, when you want to drop another feeding do something to help with the change. For example, go grocery shopping. This is a huge distraction for your little one during a time they may be used to nursing.
If you have a nursing chair in their bedroom I would consider moving it out while weaning them.
Get dad involved in times where you would typically nurse. Have him take over parts of the routine.
Get Help!
A huge part of our weaning strategy was to include my husband! He kept our daughter on schedule and distracted from breastfeeding. We also used the help of grandma a bit with the nap weaning. Spending a little time away from my daughter was the helpful push I needed to get going with weaning her.
Wear Appropriate Clothing!
This is huge! You can’t tempt your baby with a low-cut shirt. It simply isn’t fair. Wear a sweatshirt or hoodie as much as possible. Get out of your pajamas and get dressed for the day. Don’t be too comfy or cozy.
Hydrate!
Increase the frequency you offer your baby water. If you don’t keep water readily available for your little one to access make sure you are offering it frequently.
Struggles
We can’t know for sure, but we did feel like our daughter was struggling a bit emotionally. She wasn’t acting completely like herself. During the day she seemed a bit clingy and needy. This was completely understandable.
My goal was to find ways to bring her comfort away from breastfeeding. We worked through it. It truly is a huge change for your little one.
Teething at certain points was a struggle. You just can’t predict when teeth are going to come in. Typically when my daughter is teething she nurses extra. We replaced it with extra cuddles.
Illness was a struggle in that our little one was so stuffed up she couldn’t breathe when eating, drinking, or nursing. You do your best to keep baby fed and hydrated as much as possible. This was also a rough time for mom because there was biting. Her inability to breathe was completely messing up her normal rhythm and she kept accidentally biting me.
I didn’t scold her or anything, but if I jumped she cried. She knew she wasn’t supposed to do that.
Our final struggle was how near to a time change we were when we decided to wean. We completely weaned just before spring forward occurred.
If you can avoid any of these struggles I suggest you do so.
I just wanted to point them out so maybe you have a chance at eliminating one or two of them. There is no perfect time for weaning, but you do your best to make it as easy as possible for your baby.
Emotional Toll
Weaning my daughter was emotional for both of us.
Going into it I was sad. I was completely ready to do it, but sad for the change and her seemingly growing up so quickly. It felt like a huge jump from baby to toddler.
Days leading up to it I had emotional moments. Leading up to those last days my body was going through a huge hormonal shift.
Remember back when you got pregnant and your hormones were all over the place? Or what about when you just gave birth to this little being and couldn’t stop crying? Whelp this is round three for the emotional rollercoaster.
I felt it. I felt the shift in my hormones. I don’t know how many women feel it this strongly. I suggest you prepare yourself for it though. Warn your husband too. Let him know your hormones might get out of whack during the weaning process.
It was bitter-sweet. I loved breastfeeding my daughter, but I was ready to have my body back.
Once that last night happened I was actually quite fine. I stayed firm in my decision to be done. I was not going to nurse her again. I quickly became ok with the change and the decision.
Conclusion
Weaning a baby is a huge milestone. Hopefully, you can do so when you are ready and on your own terms.
Remember to get the help you need from family or child care providers.
Go into it with a plan, but also remember to remain flexible. Read your baby through the changes. See how they are coping. Don’t set rules, but rather discuss guidelines.
Weaning should not be traumatic for your baby. It should be gentle and smooth.
As they say, all good things must come to an end.
Good luck on your weaning journey.
Comment down below any helpful tips that worked for you.
Check Out My Articles
Why I Regret Exclusively Breastfeeding! The Huge Mistake I Made!
The Ultimate Guide to Finding the Best Gifts for a One Year Old
The Unexpected Emotional Challenges of Breastfeeding: How to Find Balance and Joy