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Congratulations if you are expecting baby #2!
This means you have your first child to contend with this time around. Welcoming a new baby is a huge adjustment for a toddler. We are going to dive into some ways to help make the transition as smooth as possible for everyone.
You can’t expect it to go perfectly, but why not make small efforts to try to make the change go as well as possible.
1. Getting a Strong Routine
I am a big fan of routines in general. Routines do not mean we live by the clock, however, they do mean our toddler knows what to expect. For example, our nighttime routine can happen at 8 or 8:30 pm, it can also happen at home or on vacation. The point is we are very consistent in our actions and our toddler knows what to expect. It is a solid routine.
Routines will first off make your life structured and organized. Even more importantly though routines will bring your toddler the comfort of knowing what is going on when the new baby comes home and their world seems a mess.
Routines will give them a semblance of normal life before the baby.
Establish consistency and routines in as many areas of life as possible. This could be around morning and bedtime routines. You could make meal times more consistent. You could also utilize routines with playtime and cleanup. For example, you always do cleanup before nap or quiet time.
When your toddler knows the routine there is less friction. They simply do the action or routine without fuss or argument. This can of course take time to establish though.
2. Reading Books
Spending time reading books with your toddler is always great. If you aren’t in the habit you should definitely start. Before the baby arrives you can get a few books about being a big sister or big brother.
We were given one book where the mom is pregnant basically the entire book and another where the book starts with the arrival of the new baby.
They were each helpful in their own way.
We started incorporating these books about halfway through my pregnancy with baby #2.
Aside from books related to pregnancy and the baby I still strongly recommend putting more reading into your routine. Reading is something you may be able to do with your toddler while feeding the baby or when you need them to be quiet during nap time.
Books are always great for your toddler. Below are links to two different big sibling books. I recommend you look around for a book that is as specific to your family as possible. For example if you have a son and know you are pregnant with a baby girl find a book about that dynamic specifically.
3. Making Big Changes
This will vary greatly with the age of your toddler during your pregnancy as well as when the baby arrives. During your pregnancy start thinking ahead. What do you need to work on or change before the baby’s arrival?
Something important to us was to finally get rid of the pacifier. For you, it could be removing a bottle or sippy cup from the nighttime routine. It could be transitioning to a big kid bed or getting your toddler potty-trained.
You may also need to switch furniture or bedrooms for whatever reason before the baby arrives.
I recommend doing whichever tasks are necessary well before the baby arrives.
You don’t want to give the impression that the baby is taking their crib or is the reason behind these big changes.
Get them done now and get them done early. This will help you have a thing or two checked off your list before you have the responsibility of two children.
4. Introduce Hatch Light for Sleep Schedule
Before welcoming baby number two I recommend purchasing the Hatch night light. You could do this while still using a baby crib or during the transition to the big kid bed.
The Hatch can help get you on a solid morning and nighttime routine.
For our family, we had a very consistent nighttime routine. We easily put our oldest child down to bed at 8 pm each night. The problem was morning could greatly vary. I’m talking about waking up at 7:10 one day and 8:15 the next.
This makes it very hard to have a consistent morning routine.
Now our system is the Hatch light turns green at 7:45 and that is when we enter the bedroom. I should note they are still in the crib at this point. We are going to be using two cribs and have decided to wait to make the big bed transition.
I strongly recommend you look into the Hatch light to help strengthen your routines before the arrival of baby #2.
Click to read more about the 4 Benefits of Introducing the Hatch Night Light While Still in the Baby Crib.
5. Bonding More with Daddy
Our toddler loves her daddy so very much. This hasn’t been something we have needed to work on. If your toddler is very attached to mom I recommend you start trying to incorporate dad more.
Dad can be doing bath time and taking turns putting your toddler to bed. You can read more on my thoughts about the 5 Reasons it is Important to Include Your Partner at Bedtime.
Don’t even get me started on how dads should do just as much as moms, particularly if both parents are working. If you are a stay-at-home mom though you will end up doing more for your children.
In general, dad needs to step up if his time with his toddler is lacking at all.
You can casually make this happen. Don’t make it feel forced or like a punishment.
Have dad take your toddler for a bike or stroller ride while you grab a quick break on the couch. Suggest dad and toddler make cookies together. This is an activity your toddler is sure to love!
Encourage more time spent together during your pregnancy.
6. Mealtime Patience
Spend some time before the arrival of baby #2 focusing on mealtime improvements. One improvement, in particular, is patience. Does your toddler demand to be fed the moment you walk into the kitchen and set a pot on the stove?
Start working on teaching them patience. Maybe start a new routine or tradition around meal time. Try to get them out of the kitchen to go play independently while you cook. If they are a total clinger maybe this is the time they sit and color or do a simple crafty activity like stickers.
Find ways to make mealtime calmer and organized rather than rushed and stressful.
Consider also working on things like table manners. Any extra effort or attention you can pour into your child before the arrival of baby #2 the better.
For a deeper dive take a read of my article Drastically Improve Your Toddler’s Table Manners with these 5 Tips.
7. Talk about the Baby in Positive Way
Do not focus on any of the negatives that come with welcoming baby #2. Instead, focus on the positives. Be careful is your phrasing around your toddler.
Don’t say, “When the baby comes you are going to have to be a big helper.”
Instead say, “When the baby comes you get to be a big helper!” “What do you want to do to help?”
You can also warn them in realistic ways. For example, let your toddler know people are going to come over to see the baby. They are going to hold the baby. You are going to get to see them too. You can show them your new bed or new baby.
Focus on what your toddler is interested in. Some toddlers will be obsessed with their new baby and others will be more interested in showing off their new dinosaur set. And that is perfectly ok!
Your toddler does not have to give up all their time and interests to stare and fawn over the new baby. Let them still have their own life!
Through all this just try to remember to keep things as positive as possible when it comes to the baby. Try to never put blame on the baby. Avoid phrases like, “I can’t play right now because I have to feed the baby.” Instead try saying, “I would love to play with you right after I feed and burp the baby. Then I will be ready!”
Conclusion
I am sure I missed a few ways you can prepare your toddler for a new baby. Some of these are actually more about preparing yourself as the parent.
It is your job to shape the routines and thoughts surrounding the new baby. Get prepared when it comes to changes and routines. Keep it positive as far as adjustments and life as a family of four.
Good luck!
Check Out My Articles
Drastically Improve Your Toddler’s Table Manners with these 5 Tips
5 Reasons Why It Is Important to Include Your Partner at Bedtime
Steps to Take Before Making the Move from the Crib to a Big Kid Bed